Radical Self-Trust, Taking It To My Closet

My “True-You” Wardrobe Edit Process

At first, this topic may seem unusual coming from an Intuitive Human Design Mentor, but bear with me.  I love fashion. It has always lit me up, and I believe it is relevant.

Perhaps it is time for an outward expression of your inward transformation. 

Have you ever walked into a store and felt like nothing there was for you without even taking anything off the rack? That’s what a closet full of clothing that isn’t your style feels like. It confuses you when you get dressed. But do you even know your style?  

I find many people dress out of habit, or to bring in language from my Human Design business, conditioning, and homogenization. We often dress how we have always dressed or believe we should. But are we dressing in a way that accurately reflects the person we are today?  

My closet had gotten out of hand, I knew it was time to edit

Since returning from my five-week stay in Florida, my closet had been a source of stress and disarray. I had intended to purge before leaving, but it never happened, and now my wardrobe was bursting at the seams. Typically, I either do a quick tidy-up or a major Marie Kondo-style overhaul, pulling everything out and only keeping what sparks joy.

However, as I began considering my outward expression as an extension of who I am, I decided to try a new method I found from celebrity stylist, Allison Bornstein, called the AB Edit. Her idea of the "Three-Word Method" intrigued me. This method involves choosing three words to describe your style and has a great process for figuring them out. My Human Design Journey has taught me the power of expression. How we think and speak about ourselves matters, so it makes sense that this applies to how we present ourselves, not just to the world, but to ourselves in the mirror.  But choosing those words takes some real self-reflection. Going through this AB Edit process can help in finding the words that are right for the True-You. 

The AB Edit starts with the "A" step: pulling out all the items you reach for regularly. The mainstay pieces you always pack on trips, find in the wash every time you do laundry, etc. I noticed that my go-to items are all comfortable and colorful. But there are a lot of colorful pieces in my closet I don’t reach for as much. This kickstarted some ideas for my first word, which is a practical word.  I landed on the word comfortable. If it isn’t comfortable, I don’t reach for it. 

These are my go tos, the things I reach for regularly

The "B" step involves pulling out your "never wear" items and dividing them into three categories:

1. Never Wear (Don’t Want to): Items you don’t want to wear and need to get rid of.

2. Never Wear (Not Now): Items you don’t wear now but don’t want to part with yet. These may be better stored out of the main closet, where they don’t add to the daily confusion and overwhelm of choosing what to where.

3. Never Wear (Don’t Know How): Items you love but don’t know how to style. After sorting, if you can’t create a look that feels like you (using your three words), they go into one of the other "never wear" piles. 

My “Never Wears” before I seperated them into the 3 categories.

Before putting anything back in the closet, look at what's still there—these are items you wear but aren't your go-tos. This is likely the largest category. Keeping them in the closet, group these by category and color. It simplifies the process and allows you to see where you have multiples that serve the same purpose. Do you need four black tank tops? Maybe. But you might feel better if you only keep the two you love. 

After doing the major sorting, it's time to find your three words:

1. Practical Word: What describes what you reach for daily? The items you pulled out first.  What do they have in common?

2. Aspirational Word: What do you aspire your look to be more of? When you look your best, how would you describe that?  This may also be a word you use to describe people whose sense of style you admire. 

3. Emotional Word: How do you want your clothing to make you feel?

This isn’t about limiting yourself; it’s about deciding how you want to present yourself to the world and, most importantly, to yourself. When you truly know who you are, getting dressed is much easier. It also makes it more clear what is missing in your wardrobe and that makes shopping less confusing.  It also makes it easier to say no to things you may love but aren’t going to wear.  

Here is an example of how I feel good for a normal day. Can you see my 3 words in this look?

My surface-level words were Comfortable, Classy, and Joyful. After refining, I landed on–

- Comfortable: My practical word, I want to feel comfy and relaxed daily. If it isn’t comfortable, I wind up changing the first chance I get.

- Polished: My aspirational word, it’s the quality I admire in others and want to incorporate into my style. So comfy that feels frumpy is a no for me.

- Vibrant: My emotional word,  I want to feel lively and joyful, bringing energy and life to any room. And most importantly, I want to feel alive and happy when I look in the mirror. 

Using these words, I then edited my wardrobe by asking: Does this item help me feel comfortable, polished, and/or vibrant? If not, it probably has no place in my wardrobe. I had so many earth tones and neutrals I never wore, but kept "just in case," but they just overwhelmed my choices. 

Have I got you thinking? Maybe you have decided on your three words? Does the way you present yourself reflect who you are today, or is it a homogenized version you created to "fit in?" When you’re truly authentic inside and out, you know where you belong. Maybe you were made to stand out.

Let’s back up to that never-wear pile.  Here’s how I divided it and what I did with each. 

1. Don’t Want to Wear: Items I got rid of. Resist the urge to keep things you don’t wear and don’t even like.  They are energy drains.  It doesn’t matter how much it cost.  Either sell it now or bless the world with it. Hanging in your closet, the item is just a painful reminder of the fact that it doesn’t fit or of money that feels wasted.

2. Don’t Wear Now: Items you don’t wear now but might not be ready to part with yet.  Get these out of view. Put them in a different closet or a bin, and if you haven’t looked for them in 6 months or a year, reevaluate. 

3. Like but Never Wear: These are the items that for some reason you don’t feel comfortable in.  A great tip from Allison is to take these and pair them with your favorite pieces. You should still have all those pulled out of the closet and doing this was revolutionary for me. For example, I had a denim skirt from Stitch Fix that I hadn’t yet worn a couple of months later. I was starting to worry it was a mistake.  I paired it with some favorite items and found it was easy to style when I didn't have an entire closet of options in front of me. Sometimes with new things, we try and wear them right away with things we don’t normally wear, and they just feel off.

Paired with one of my favorite shirts and these Keds I live in, this skirt finally felt like me

Take photos of these outfits and create an album on your phone. Make a point to wear them soon. If you still haven’t worn them after a few months, it may be time to let them go.

Sometimes, you find pieces you can style into cute outfits, but they still don’t feel right when you put them on. If it’s a size issue and not dramatic, put it in the "not now" pile. If it’s a style issue, ask if it’s missing one of your three words. Not every outfit needs all three, but this helps clarify why something doesn’t feel right.

For example, a green and black dress fit me well, but it just didn’t feel “right” when I put it on. But now, armed with my 3 words, I knew it needed “vibrancy.” Adding a polished stark white jacket and gold jewelry made it pop, and now I love it! On the other hand, a pale green gingham blazer I bought on impulse and has mostly sat in my closet for 2 years was not really me. While I love green, it wasn’t vibrant enough and felt too oversized to be polished, so it was edited out.

This outfit still didn’t feel like me, despite being with all go-to items. the blazer didn’t make the edit.

Last but not least, I want to say, this is about finding YOUR style- There are no rules!  If you want to wear overalls and a T-shirt every day, do it because it reflects who you are and makes you happy.  Own it!  No one has to like it but you!  Just maybe get rid of all those floral dresses and structured blazers that you never wear because they send the message that maybe you aren’t sure. Now that you know who you are, present yourself to the world with confidence. 

Thanks for joining me on this journey. Have I inspired you? This is about simplifying life and finding a more authentic expression of who you are. If this feels overwhelming, I’m here to help. I’m offering this as a virtual service with various levels of support. I would love to know your 3 words. 

#radicalselftrust